Azul

I've never been so far away from the Sun. Five hundred and eighty-eight million kilometers away from home if the instruments are correct. It better be worth it. Jupiter and its majesty on starboard. Saturn showing in the distance, shily, ringless due to the distance. It better fucking be worth it. I had no option, savvy? I miss the food, you know, while having a picnic in the local park, drinking a beer, listening to Shostakovich. Above all, I miss her. Her messy hair. Her silky skin. Her joyous lips. My boss has assured me this is the last trip I gotta make. ''Water mining is not just about you or your job, but a gift for everyone,'' he said while giving me my assignment papers. ''There is no life without water'', I tell myself night in, night out. So I am here, alone, consuming too much breaderrill. I said I would not smoke, but here I am having one, floating towards Europa, strapped to the most obnoxious seat. ''You cannot be floating adrift aboard the vessel when you are so near the Belt or your destination, you jackass,'' said Vice Admiral Roccoforte last time I came here. So they added sensors to the chairs so they could track how much I spend sitting. Fucking pussies... The smoke detectors I can handle, but these piece of shit sensors... I gotta wear a catheter for three months while I do the mining, and have exactly five minutes three times a day to relief myself, jesus. The robots bring the food and water packs from storage. I can switch to the ergo-recliner to have a better night of sleep. However, I am still strapped to a damned chair. There is no life without water. Best part of space by myself: I can blast music as loud as as I want. ''I choose you with grace,'' sings Kele. ''I choose you with sensitivity.'' It's oh so funny how I ran into that song, unknowingly, unsuspectingly. I sang excited about the gorgeous music. I learnt it on guitar cause it's good practice. Not anymore. Cause I am now elated. ''They are good lyrics,'' I told Julian once. Now I'm moved to the point of tears. Cause of you. You, sip of wine in the Autumn. You, the sweetest breeze in the Spring. You, goddess of fire. ''I will understand,'' fills the rooms of the ship over and over. I send a voice message to the control room letting them know I'm around two hundred and fifty-seven thousand kilometers away from the landing spot. I do not care if the music in the background makes it hard for them to understand, they got the voice filtering to make out what I saying with a ciggie in my lips. I prep another voice message. ''Let me be the one to shine on you. Better to let, better to let you know. I am a fool in love,'' I softly croon to you. Bot 05 brings some pop and a pack of chips. ''Alcohol in insterstellar solo missions is no longer allowed'', said the assigment papers. Damn it. I slowly close my eyes while the white moon in the horizon grows larger. I ask the computer to decrease the temperature in the cockpit while I cross my arms and get a thermo-sheet. I think of you, my bear, my blood, my passion, my muse. I miss you...