29.12.08

E

"I am patient at the waiting yet impatient to see her again..."
What is patience? In the context from which I am typing, it relates to the fact of something changing for nothing can remain the same everlastingly & I holding hope in some sort of spatial & mental calm without opening my mouth to whine about time & its at times somewhat inconveniences while I have a cigarette.
I dare await without any further expectation but a warm encounter [not the devouring type since I have already trapped myself by using her help, then giving myself to her] Either tonight or tomorrow, either in the open or indoors, either with caffeine or nicotine...
An empty screen haunts me. Clear stubborness taunts me. I ought to linger without thinking.
"I know by now that you'll arrive by the time I stop waiting..."

15.12.08

C-I've jumped into the river...

so I could hold the one who's shown nothing but trust & love in spite of the cunt-taunt at times life could shower one with. One might wonder what I saw when I finally dove in [more deeply than I thought I might add] Nothing...Believe! Can you? The amount of beauty in my life has gone up on the ladder inasmuch as, as I have closed them, I have actually opened my eyes. I bounce up+down or up then down without any sort of clumsy control. She laughterises. Would you buy my bullshit when I say I can fearlessly ignore yet acknowledge all the filth in the river by being? I stutter, I stare, I start then stop, I sting her & she does so back...Keen on smoke. I have trapped myself by using her help. So, I gave myself to her. Can one be afraid of such prey? You may feel deceived after I tell you this forementioned river is one but the sea itself...I did not mean to lie! Nose of scars which upset my gastrointestinal spirit. I swear I am a whale [The purple one, who has by the way left a sprout of her in my mind, can confirm my story] What about this essence in my bed? Coward affirmation: IFLH...Hahaha! [I wonder if one can guess that] Coward for I dare not type it whole. Au revoir...Time to see a movie.